Family Guy, Peter Griffin, Yanket, Slanket, Masturbation, Blanket, Jacking Off, Chris, Scarlet Johansson, Fake Arms

Peter Griffin’s Yanket Solves the Woes of Public Masturbation

“If you’re anything like me, the number one problem in your life is that you can’t masturbate just anywhere. But now you can!”


On my trip back to NYC from Washington this week, I was reminded by a terrible woman camped out at DC’s Union Station under her dual sleeved blankets (one for the front, and one for the back, creating an impenetrable sleeved blanket fortress) of one of my all-time favorite Family Guy bits, the Yanket. By not having cable tv at home, I manage to avoid a lot of American commercials for scary things like the Dump cookbook series, those weird pajama jeans, and the slanket family of products. That is, until my mom decides to alert me to their existence (as she owns a great many of them already), insisting that there is a place in my life for them that I just don’t know about.

The slanket always seemed like a particularly shameful idea, only acceptable in the comfort of your darkened home, and only when you’re there alone. But Peter Griffin’s repurposing of the embarrassing blanket/housedress hybrid has me thinking twice:



Family Guy isn’t always great, but sometimes it really feels like they get me. You know?


This blog has a TON of super adulty stuff in it. You gotta be 18+ and into that (or at least be working on an incognito tab, bro).
Yeah, I'm 18
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Masturbator, Jack off, Bate, Bateworld, Penis, Stroke, Solo, Solosexual, penisbate
“I am a masturbator.”

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