Favorite Stuff! Mostly for your dick!
Man. I can’t seem to get these in before the month is out! Some of these are carryover favorites from October, when we didn’t post a list, due to distractions.
But this month we’ve got some good ones. Let’s go:
My New Toothbrush
This is easily the most aggressive toothbrush I’ve ever used in my whole life. I may be in love.
It might not be right for everyone, since it vibrates so hard that I’m actually afraid I’m gonna lose a crown, but it’s definitely worth trying. It even connects to the Oral B app on your phone, via bluetooth, so that you can keep track of your tooth brushing for… some reason that isn’t totally clear to me.
But even if you don’t use the app, it’s still worth taking for a spin. Upgrading ordinary household stuff is always a gratifying way to spend your bucks. Especially when it’s stuff that goes in your mouth
The Oral B 7000 Smart Toothbrush is totally worth it.
I’ve had a lot of conversations recently where people thought I was making this product up as some kind of elaborate, sarcastic rouse. So I figured I’d put it here and link it to the source so I can stop explaining that it’s real and that, yes, maybe, it could be people. I don’t know. Frankly, it’s not useful to ask a lot of questions about it.
Soylent is a perfectly nutritionally balanced meal replacement thing, without the unsexy invalid/terminal-hospital-guest quality of Ensure. If we’ve ever really talked about food before, you probably know I’m not that into it, and have a relatively sensitive tummy, so this is a great way for me to keep up with my winter bulk (so long, new abs!) and keep more weight on.
It does not taste delicious. So don’t be fooled. But if you’ve ever chewed on paper and found it to be inoffensive, you might be able to chug some Soylent with success. You can find the ready to drink bottles on amazon, or the full-day pouches on the Soylent site.
This Chain-Link Cockring
I had never ever heard of the Sono brand before my trip last week to the Blue Store to pick up some boner pills and other, assorted genital-related supplies. And that’s rarely a good sign, cause I feel like I’m pretty tuned into what’s news in the world of dick rings. But they had a good installation of products and the Apple Store-esq packaging design was enticing so I grabbed one to try.
And it’s pretty ok! It might be super ok, if I had smaller junk, but with the D&B set that I’ve got now, it was a wee-bit snug. I took it for a spin at the Tuesday night Jacks party, and while it definitely did the job, when I pulled it off finally, it had left some pretty deep chain-link indentations all the way around my scrote. They don’t seem to be sized, near as I can tell (sometimes stretchy rings are just sold as one-size-fits-all), so I may try to open this one up a bit with a metal pipe and my hair dryer. Possibly the microwave, failing all else.
But I’m also up for a swap if you’ve got a cool one and think you’ll fit mine. Just lemme know.
The ‘Mens Sex Underwear’ Section of Ali Baba
Ali Baba is a weird enough place already, but the section of their mens clothing area dubbed “Mens Sex Underwear,” (their words, not mine) is especially shocking and hilarious. It seems to feature a ton of products that may not necessarily be for men, so the criteria for listing here must be rather vague. But I’m always on the hunt of new and weird underwears, so AB might be my new best friend.
That is if I can find stuff I don’t need to order 100 of – AliBaba started as a wholesale shop, but there’s tons of retail business happening in there too. You just gotta look for single minimums instead of the 100+ that wholesale buyers need to purchase.
As I said up there someplace, I’m back into the winter bulking phase and I’m glad for it. I don’t LOVE eating a ton of food all the time, but I’m feeling crazy skinny, having lost about 30 lbs of fat over the course of the summer months (sos that I could look pretty for my photos, and cause I wanted to try for some abdominal definition) and I’m ready to have some of my ass bounce back. Plus I’m not that impressed with abs, tbh.
Serious Mass is the best weight gainer protein and it’s definitely helped me pack on some extra size, while meeting my recovery protein needs. No complaints on this one except for the price. When you eat it like I do, fifty bucks a bag starts to add up. So if you’re ever in the market for a practical surprise that’ll help me thicken out a little, you can always find this on my wishlist.
I’m not even picky about flavor if one ends up being a little cheaper. My bouncy ass thanks you in advance.
A new friend got me the exact thong in that photo there as a surprise gift, and it is already my favorite fucking thing. I don’t know what goes on at Obviously, but they have figured out the precise magic formula between “wow, I can’t even feel anything in between my ass cheeks!” and “holy crap, that’s the greatest pouch-based genital support I’ve ever encountered! I want to live in these!”
If you ever read this thing I wrote about how dumb it is that people see thongs as not being masculine, you’ll know that I’m already a fan of the style. But there’s a lot that can go wrong when manufacturers and designers don’t take long-term wear or ass bigness into account. Obviously has done their fucking homework and created the best thong, hands down, I have ever wrapped around my nuts. Yet again, if you’re in need of gift suggestions, Obviously has taken over the top half of my entire wishlist, and I’m ready to put on everything they’ve ever made.
As a side note, the bigger your butt gets, the more appealing thongs become, especially as you manage to rip through yet another pair of boxer briefs by bending down (just like Alan Hale did in this movie!).
Guys in Union Suits
Especially after all that shit I had to say about some sites flattening out the crotchal areas of Nasty Pig’s classic union suits. Welcome to a gallery of what men actually look like in union suits. You can see their fuckin’ bulges, and hairy asses and there’s no Ken Doll smoothness to be found. There’s even exceptional penis owner, Boomer Banks, showing off one of the main reasons we love him, even when he’s all clothed (well. Mostly) right on the first page.
Union suits are a must-have for NYC winter, and they make for good cold-weather frot play if you’re into that sort of thing.
That’s the November list. There’s some stuff that would make excellent gifts (for me, or anyone, really) and some stuff you should try gifting yourself. You’re worth some new underwear and cockrings, don’t you think? I think.
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