Why? Who cares! You’ve probably got your reasons!
I would like to start by disclaiming how secretly actually excited I was when my buddy sent me this blog post about these boxer briefs designed to make your front stuff look like a snarling wolf. I was all set to buy them, until I looked up how they actually worked/fit and now I’m super bummed out about it.
The way the Amazon post sets it up, though, you’d think nothing could go wrong!
• 3D wolf pattern print underwear make man looks sexy and wild
• the wide waist design make man comfortable no tight feeling
• U convex design, large space and breathable
• High quality material and great handwork, perfect gift to boyfriend or husband
That all sounds great! It’s 3D? And I’m gonna look sexy and wild?! I can’t wait to give these to my boyfriend or husband (or my me)!
The reviews just south of those bullet points told another story, though:
Yikes. Sorry, Damon. But you gave me a good idea: google first. That googling turned up some scary photoshoppery and some more accurate results of what that wolf snoot might look like without a wolf-shaped set of gentials bulging it out:
It turns out that without the wolf-skull-sized dick under it, the face looks more like Brian Griffin in that creepy episode where he gets all his teeth knocked out.
Ah well. At least the other review was literary gold:
The emperor will cry and your mom will scream. Idk. That’s almost a solid enough endorsement for me. Maybe Brady knows something we don’t.
PS – this company also sells something called ‘handerpants,’ which sounds like something ultra German, but is really just underwear for your hands. For… some reason.
Previous Post: November Favorite Things