It’s not my list. But it’s still a good list.
If you’ve been paying even marginal attention to what we talk about here or on tumblr, you’ve heard me yelling about how it’s stupid that people think thongs are for women. This preoccupation with masc drag is bumming everyone out and it’s keeping you from enjoying the best ball cradling you’ve ever received from an undergarment.
For no reason at all, I came across the Manthong Review this week and – even though it hasn’t been updated since 2012 – discovered it was full of good stuff! So I’m sharing their list of “Reasons Why Men Should Wear Thong Underwear.” Which… that’s not especially catchy or clever. But fine. Still a better title than whatever body shaming dumpster dribble Buzzfeed would have whipped up. Let’s investigate:
List of Reasons Men Should Wear Thong Underwear
I’ve started a list of reasons why men should wear man thong underwear (or G-strings). Some ideas were mine, but most can be found out on the internet. When you search the net you’ll find many more reasons why a man should wear a thong than I’ve listed here. I’m still adding to this list. It takes a little time on my part to digest, format and add my own comments, so check back often! By the way, as I continue scouring the internet for ideas I have found it hard at times to restrain myself from blasting some of the arguments that I’ve come across. Let’s just say some ideas I’ve found are sopping wet. But, then I had to ask myself, “is wet necessarily a bad thing?” The answer to that is no. Enjoy!
Surf Boat Rowing. This is definitely one of the more practical reasons to wear a thong. It turns out that it is better to expose one’s cheeks for the purpose of rowing. Although I do not know of anyone wearing thongs for this purpose we do see men stuffing the back side of their Speedos into their bum to expose their bare butts. Yeah, Seriously! Quite possibly hundreds of public examples can be found at the Annual Manly Life Saving Club Surf Carnival where many lifeguards from Australia and New Zealand gather for competition. I say avoid the hassle of stuffing your crack and buy a proper swimsuit thong! Just do it!
Almost Nude Publication. A great example of this is Sylvester Stallone in his 1985 movie “Rambo: First Blood Part II” during the captured scene. The G-String/Thong that Sylvester Stallone wears can be seen as he’s pulled from a leech infested pond. But, even if you’re not shooting a high budget film for the movie industry you might find yourself using a G-String for a similar purpose. Let’s say you desire to photograph yourself or others nude for publication (on, say, the internet) then you might also find yourself concerned over the legalities of doing so. In the United States of America we must keep records in accordance with Title 18, § 2257. If you find that a hassle then a G-string or thong might be exactly what you need!
Ventilation. Aside from wearing nothing but a thong I don’t buy it. To me this is really the same sort of excuse your parents issued (back in the day) to explain why they had the Playboy magazine you found in their bedroom. Yeah, sure, you’re reading Playboy for the articles only. I don’t think so! Just for the record and to be fair I will state that I have worn nothing but a thong in the house to stay cool without using the air-conditioning thereby saving on energy costs. I have to admit that this works quite well during hot weather (above 85° F for me). You will see the difference in your electric bill if you do that often enough during the summer months. But, the ventilation under clothing argument is bull – sorry.
Empathy for women. Some time back I found a post in Yahoo! Answers (I think it was Yahoo! Answers) where a women agreed that men should wear thongs so that they know what it feels like. I think she said something like, ‘if they like thongs so much then they can wear them.’ Well, I say that’s a good point – really. Many guys who would rather die than be caught in a thong are the same guys who find thongs on women exciting. I like the tit-for-a-tat attitude.
Motivator to say fit. Honestly, for anyone to pull of wearing a thong (men or women) you’ve got to be fit. Otherwise a steamy idea could suddenly become a TMI situation. Even if you wear a thong only in the bedroom that’s no excuse to let yourself go.
It’s Tribal. This is an interesting argument that, initially, I totally blew off as BS, but now I believe there’s a decent measure of truth to this. Consider all the edgy piercings men and women have adorned themselves with during the late twentieth century (oh, say, from 1980 to present). Piercings are tribal. What about the all-to-common tribal armband tattoo? Compare the fundoshi to men’s thongs. Yeah, okay, so we accept some tribal things, but not necessarily tribal thongs for men – not yet anyway.
Choices. There is the argument that brings to light how it’s socially acceptable for a woman to wear, say, men’s boxers (or “boy shorts”) without the same sort of social stigma a man-thonger might receive. This is a point that I’ve seen in posts by cross-dressers a number of times. Of course it’s a bit different for a man-thonger since we only wear man thong underwear compared to the endless attire a cross-dresser would have, but I say this is a rather good point. It’s just underwear! Why should women have all the choices?
Ballet. This is probably the least subjective reason to wear what I’ve been describing as a “man-thong” – that is a thong specifically made for and worn by men. For ballet men wear a “dance belt” under their tights. It isn’t referred to as a thong, but essentially it is the same thing. Google it!
Wedgies. Apparently, regular underwear will bunch up in a way that gives the wearer a “wedgie.” I really would never have believed this if it weren’t for my girlfriend casually mentioning this particular advantage that thongs provide. It seems counter intuitive, but that’s what she tells me – which is that the fabric making up the backside of regular women’s underwear (panties, bikini and similar) has a tendency of bunching into the infamous wedgie. Uh, yeah, that’s what she tells me. At this point we’ve both assumed this is a problem encountered primarily by females and not males, but I would be interested in some feedback from men on this topic. I definitely see the argument of thongs over ordinary boxers under jeans; however, boxer briefs or other tight fitting underwear should solve that problem. So, for now I don’t buy the story simply because I never had this problem – ever. On the flipside if you fess up and tell me this is just an excuse to wear man thongs then you have my full support!
Exercising while saving on your laundry bill. If you exercise at home try wearing just a thong to prevent getting your clothing full of sweaty body odor. You’ll not only save money by doing less laundry – it’s environmentally friendly.
Feeling Sexy. I’ve asked many man-thongers their reasons for putting on that thong and one answer that comes back a lot is that it feels sexy to wear a man-thong. This is no different than women enjoying their lingerie simply for the sake of feeling sexy. Obviously, man-thongs aren’t accepted by the general population in quite the same way, but that is changing.
Prevents Shirt Cocking. Instead of shirt cocking – wear a thong!
Super Hero. This is better explained through this YouTube video.
I’m in favor of whatever your eye-rolly reason is to ditch your boxers in favor of something that lifts, bulges, supports and doesn’t leave panty lines. But some of those are confusing and weird. And I can’t think of any reason one would want to “prevent shirtcocking.”
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