05 Dec 7 Masturbation Habits to Consider Dropping
Golden wisdom from the archives of EroticEngineering.com
If you’re a regular guest here, you know we talk about a LOT of dong stuff. And that’s just ordinary. It really sort of reflects my own life and the amount of free time I spend thinking about or actually masturbating my own penis. One of my favorite things to remind dudes on Tumblr about is that it’s not just good, but important to contemplate your penis. We’re so lucky, as men, to have this tool with a sole (if not nearly singular) function of providing pleasure and a sense of belonging and grounding. This tool that is a part of us and in many ways helps form the ways we interact with the world. That’s not nothing. That’s not to be ignored. That’s the shit. And it will behoove you to pay it the admiration and reverence it deserves.
That’s a tangent for another time though, and maybe another post about ways you can contemplate your penis. Today I want to talk about this entry from a guy whose videos I’ve watched a lot of, Bruce Grether. His videos are really entertaining to me, and are almost all sprinkled with bits of wisdom about pleasure and about respecting and revering your body and how it connects and interacts with the universe. I suspect we come from different spiritual groundings, Bruce and I, and some of his advice makes me laugh a little bit, but there’s good meat here. Literally and figuratively. Bruce is one of the most joyful masturbators I’ve ever seen, and even if you don’t care a lick for what he’s talking about while he’s doing it, I’ve found it’s impossible not to join in, while he’s jackin it. He has an unashamed enthusiasm that is contagious. I highly encourage you to track him down on Bateworld, and to visit his site, Erotic Engineering. He has tons of videos on there, all devoted to a central theme of mindful penis masturbation.
The entry I want to talk about today is from his site, and is titled 7 Masturbation Habits to Break. Now, I’m not in the habit of offering condemnation to just about anything men want to do with their own dicks that brings them pleasure. For my money, it’s like a Reese’s Cup and there’s no wrong way to do it. While Bruce says they’re habits you should break, I’m gonna chime in with my own thoughts about each item he’s listed out here. It goes without saying that I’d love to have your input as well, in the comments or by email. Let’s get started:
7 Masturbation Habits to Break
from Erotic Engineering
1. Tense, shallow upper-chest breathing – This makes it possible to remain somewhat stressed all through your session, deprives you of oxygen, and may cause you to ejaculate sooner than you wish.
I am hardcore guilty of this and if you’ve ever gotten to really bate with me, you know my biggest frustration is needing to cum again and again. I get to the edge fast and topple over even more quickly. I’m convinced that I may never conquer this one, but I’m damn sure gonna try going forward.
2. Remaining in a single position – Locks up sensations within your body, and prevents the sensations from naturally radiating to your entire body.
I agree with this to a point. For me, I enjoy settling into one of several postures that just seem to happen naturally for most men when they’re masturbating, especially in front of a computer. There’s a sense memory involved in the very position that causes my dick to throb a little extra once we find that sweet spot.
3. Using one hand – Again, this easily limits how much sensation and nuance of penile pleasure you may experience and keeps it localized.
I try to involve as many hands as possible. Although I have a difficult time getting myself to actually cum with my left hand, I swap out as often as I remember to. This is good advice.
4. Remaining transfixed on porn – This is not morally wrong, of course, however it can actually desensitize the circuit of pleasure centers in your brain.
This is where my thoughts rather diverge from Bruce’s, and indeed from a lot of people who talk about masturbating. I think that it might come down to a generational issue at the core, and the brains of men my age (and certainly those younger than me) do not view or engage with pornography in the same manner that older men’s brains do. Maybe.
The ubiquitous nature of hardcore pornography that we experience today, has sort of always been present for people my age. I have been viewing and working along with porn since I was ten years old. I would argue that porn as media holds the same place in my brain that radio shows, television programs, and albums do. And I have a hard time justifying the idea that the episodes of the Simpsons I’ve seen 100+ times are somehow damaging the parts of my brain that enjoy them. That just isn’t how it works.
That said, I do think that relying on the stimulus from images (either photos or movies or whatever you like), in a singular fashion, seems unimaginative and boring. While I love jacking along with guys like Proudbator, if I’m somewhere away from a screen, I seek out stimulation from other, local sources and it is a different sort of experience. If I’m jacking off in Central Park, for instance, the ‘might get caught’ aspect is an endorphin and adrenaline driver. This creates a different type of pleasure than I encounter in my office, in front of my computer.
But this idea that porn is going to do some kind of sustained damage to your brain (in some unexplained way that movies and tv do not) is scientifically unsubstantiated and harmful as an ideology. It’s not different from the wrong ideas about masturbation in general that people once spouted.
5. Restraining natural sounds and movements – Keeps your sensations from blossoming, and it’s polar opposite is the loud, delicious delirium of full surrender to blissful self-love and total fun!
And then, just like that, we’re back on the same page! My only addendum to this is that your sounds and movements be authentic. There’s nothing that makes my penis go softer than watching a dude who’s really trying to over perform his enjoyment.
Again, I’m not here to tell you how to live your life, and if that’s what makes you harder, go to it. But it’s easy for my brain to pick up on sounds and faces and movements that don’t ring as true, and it’s off-putting and uncomfortable to watch someone do that. If you want a hyperbolic example, I encourage you to watch almost ANY heterosexual porn and pay attention to what almost any woman in almost any scene is doing. That is… really excruciating to see. Oh, Ramon, indeed.
6. Frequently ejaculating – This can produce the abrupt mood-swings that many males experience daily, sometimes far more often—plus you can miss the opportunity to explore the stratosphere of high ecstatic states including male multiple orgasm and dry orgasms, precious rewards of Erotic Engineering.
MmmmmmmmmmI can’t speak to this one, per se. I have thoughts on it, but as I said earlier, I’m a CUMS OFTEN kinda of masturabator. Ejaculation is my target and that is the height of my pleasure. I am willing to admit that I could be misunderstanding that, and am going to make an effort to maybe bust a little less while I explore it. But… man. Bustin is GOOD, yo. It’s really so so good. I might be a nut addict.
7. Abruptly switching attention back to other activities – You can easily miss the delicious afterglow, and a more gradual transition that can help preserve the oxytocin and other bliss chemicals that Mindful Masturbation can generate.
Again, if we’ve penised together, you know I don’t do this very well. I’m pretty solidly out of commission for 5-10 minutes after I cum, and even when I’m at the Jacks, I have to drag myself back to a quieter area, get some juice, and sort of gradually reboot my brain. So if you’re the type who has to immediately wash semen off and get dressed (which – that’s a thing! I’ve had it happen! Where somebody cums and immediately has to wash themselves and put on clothes again. It’s wild and borderline insulting, though I know it has nothing to do with me) this might be something to consider.
I highly encourage you to go read Bruce’s full post on this topic, and I want to reiterate again, that there’s no wrong way for you to bate your dong. Only ways you might be able to do it better.
Happy Monday, bators.
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