Bulge Kings: Tom Selleck

There’s a reason they called him *Magnum* P.I.

It seemed like things were getting a little animation-heavy around these parts, so I figured it might be time to introduce something new. There are (were) some guys who lived their lives as though this post were written even before their time. With the tightest of pants, and the most proud and prominent genital bulges, these men shot whole television shows, movies, and did interviews with their legs spread and nary a thought directed towards hiding the shape and heft of their bodies. God. Fukkin. Bless. When was the last time you saw somebody like Zac Efron on a talk show, with his sack stretching out his suit pants?

Bulge Kings

So, welcome to Bulge Kings, and our first King, Tom Selleck. He of the thickest mustache, and warm, genial, 1980s sexy dad charm. When I was small, I can remember watching Magnum PI reruns and worrying that my parents might somehow know how much I wanted to hug Thomas Magnum. I just knew that his open button down Hawaiian shirts and unmanicured chest (and etc) hair would feel soooo good against my face and that was pretty much all I thought about any time he was on screen.

So to celebrate Mr. Selleck’s casually flowing masculine sexuality, and his refusal to cross his legs almost ever, here’s a collection of my favorite Tom Selleck bulges:

Our First Crown: Tom Selleck

These last couple I thiiiiink are fake Tom Selleck nudes pics. One purports to be from his Playgirl spread (in the black panties), but I haven’t been able to corroborate that and I don’t remember him ever looking quite so fit or sculpted. But boy, does it get my nuts churning:

Tom Selleck’s ( real fake) nudes:

And then one final one for a 2020 update to this post that may be my most favorite photo of ol’ Magnum, fake or not:

Bless you, Mr. Selleck for teaching boys in the 80s that there was nothing about their bodies they needed to keep smashed away.

-t