Because, hey! Why the fuck not!

Oh, blessed google alerts. You bring so much into my world. Just this week, for instance:

Tai Chi ‘master’ pulls helicopter along with only his penis, breaking ‘world record’

OH! Lots to unpack there. Both “master” and ” world record” in scare quotes. But “helicopter” and “penis” are not! I see.

The whole article has a very ‘allegedly’ feel to it, but let’s dive in anyway:

Via Shanghaiist:

WATCH: Tai Chi ‘master’ pulls helicopter along with only his penis, breaking ‘world record’

A Chinese kung fu “master” has succeeded in dragging a helicopter more than 10 meters using only the power of his penis, managing to break a “world record,” but not his cock in the process.

In a video recorded to catalog this historic feat for future generations, a foreign female “judge” is seen reading out the rules of the challenge as 39-year-old Ye Hongwei ties a rope around his wiener. Then, a crowd gathers around to watch with cell phone cameras at the ready as Ye slowly but surely begins to walk backward, pulling the 5-ton military helicopter forward outside of a hanger on the outskirts of Beijing.

While Ye only needed to drag the chopper 8 meters for the “world record,” he continues on for a few more paces, finally stopping after he hauled the helicopter over 10 meters. Afterward, Ye took a deep breath to realign his  

Read more and watch the video at Shanghaiist (you don’t see any wang, though. So… at your own discretion)

 
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Listen. One should never underestimate the value of having goals. That’s how you add meaning to your life. Even though Ye doesn’t look super jazzed at any stage of this ‘feat.’

I know I don’t wanna pull any large-scale machinery with my penis, but it’s comforting to know that somewhere in the world, somebody does.

For now, I’ll stick to just regular ‘ol cock pushups.

-t