Maybe everpresent pornography and the ability to watch your peers masturbate is creating an unforeseen type of sexual liberation.
Monday! And around here, that means we’re gonna talk about some dudes jackin’ it for everybody to see.
This post, as many of my posts do, started as a conversation with a friend who was arguing that kids today (for the intentions of this post/blog, “kids” is what I’m using to define anybody my age and younger. So we’re talking dudes in the 18-31 range. Younger than that isn’t the focus, though I think there is a conversation to be had about those dudes – just somewhere else) are ultimately going to regret taking and sharing naked photos and videos, and that it was going to cost them something unexpected down the line.
And while my friend may have a case there – imagine a day when the Attorney General or the mayor of your town has readily accessible jack off clips from their younger days (since nothing ever really gets deleted from the internet) – I wondered back if it had to be that way?
For my sake (and this might be too short-sighted of me), I think it’s totally incredible that young guys can find images and clips of guys who look and talk and behave like them, demonstrating the ways they masturbate, and even celebrating arousal and maleness.
Back in St. Olaf – I mean – when I was a kid, trying to figure out where I fit in to the larger constructs of sex and homosexuality, I watched a LOT of porn online. But little of it was amateur created, and almost none of it featured guys who looked like I did (it was early days and we didn’t have tumblr or twitter to direct the flow of content); they were COLT muscledads, or big-dicked jocks, or Generally European monsterdong Bel Ami dudes. I loved watching their arousal and their pleasure, but I didn’t see me in any of that.
XY Magazine provided a portal through which I could view boys more beautiful than I ever thought I would be, but while they were often erotically posed and photographed, they never delved into the carnal sexual behavior I so desired to witness.
In the years that followed my early forays into porn viewing, there would be a surge of “twink” related content online. But it would never feel authentic or safe. The focus was almost entirely on how underaged the guys appeared, and often how they were “straight, bro” and had “never done anything like this before.”
I didn’t care about someone looking like they were under 18, and it felt lecherous and bizarre to me that others would be fixated on that concept. I just wanted to see guys that reflected how I saw myself, so that I could feel more ok with my constant, insatiable need to masturbate.
Which is why, in the age of everybody-has-an-iphone and tumblr-is-free, I’m excited to find clips of young guys openly displaying their penises, smiling, and stroking. I think it’s incredible that these young men (if not live, then) find these moments of pride and unashamedness in their bodies and their developing sexuality. Beyond my laughing and clapping at these dudes’ youthful magic, though, I think this phenomenon – young guys filming their masturbation and bodies and sharing it – is significant to shaping how these and other young men view themselves. I think it forms a groundwork for understanding sexuality that pervious generations (who likely grew up believing that masturbation was a “sin” or would cause them permanent harm or damage) could never imagine.
These guys are free. And any repercussions they do face will become less and less significant as time passes. Showing off your pleasure and tossing aside socially-induced shame about having a penis or about sexual gratification matters. It teaches others that they don’t need to be ashamed, and it helps the broader world to see that sex is part of the human experience. A cosmically necessary one.
I don’t know who this dude is, but I’m pretty sure this is him in both of these videos. I liked them because, A. this kid is clearly a masturbator – that glazed, open-mouth stare he keeps fixated on his hard dong betrays him – and B. because this was me in my dorm room every day and night of undergrad, dry jacking until I nutted on every textile or surface in the room:
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This guy seems mad young to me, but his greasy penis noise and penisbabble is so on point that you should watch it anyway:
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The pleasure-focused narcissism in this is STRONG, but if you’ve never gotten into that goon zone in front of the mirror, watching your own nuts bounce up and down, you don’t know why this is incredible. I only wish he were louder:
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I could post videos here about this all day long, but I encourage you to think about the stuff that I said here when you’re perusing Nuthin’ But Naked Twinks or Poppin Da Pole for yourself. These are guys who are exposing themselves, not because of coercion or force, but because they fukkin can.
That’s awesome.
-t
As always – if it’s you in any of the pics or clips I share, shout it out and I’ll be glad to add credits or remove. And do the same if you know who any of these guys are and where we can see more!
Great post! I was a bit of a scoundrel in HS & college and got away with so much … but that was as an undercover masturbator and milker. I always say that if I’d known then what I know now my school days would have been a lot more adventurous!
You know, and I think that’s kind of what I’m exploring here. These kids are learning stuff that it took me a lot longer to fully flesh out. I had these ideas (as you did) but didn’t have the support to push them very far, because I felt alone and lacked permission. The idea of finding sameness in the proclivities and secret behaviors of your peers is very liberating. Very permission-granting.
Thanks for sharing!
-t
Ugh, I feel you on the early days trying to scrape by with over-produced porn featuring the most physically perfect men. It wasn’t until I was in college that people started having cheaper cameras and then cameras on their phone so we could see each other and not some crazy muscled up guy. I actually remember some early online bate communities I stumbled on that were really uplifting. Those as well as a forum for guys who are bi helped me come to terms with my confusing sexuality and desire in ways that regular porn and my awful sex Ed never did.
And none of that is meant to shit on 90s-2000s studio work. Only to say that I didn’t see me or anyone I knew in there. I saw it outlining captial-S SEX as for men who looked like those guys did. Not as something for anyone.
And yeah, sexual education is… I don’t know what a good metaphor is for that. It’s like teaching someone the most basic mechanics of a combustion engine and then telling them to go drive a car, without regard for any of the nuance or skill required to actually drive with other cars on the road.
-t
Oh yeah, I’m not shitting on it either (though there were some hilarious trends at the time). I just know I never looked like the cute twinks in porn, I was too hairy almost from the start of puberty. And hairy guys didn’t start coming back into porn until around when I started college. The worst was when someone would be like “he’s got a swimmer’s build” and I’d be like “I’m a swimmer, I don’t look like that…”
And yeah, my sex ed classes did next to nothing to teach me what was happening with my body. Fortunately I loved the library and I had the internet in HS so I got a mix of reading books about puberty and sex and then seeing porn to give me an idea of what the hell I was supposed to be doing. These days I have such sympathy for my early, fumbling self. LOL Poor kid.
I concur that it’s awesome how guys these days can feel free and uninhibited enough to want to share their bodies and their sex (solo or otherwise), and that there are easily accessible places to do that. I wish I’d had those things when I was younger and cuter.
But I also get where your friend is coming from. Look at how Stormy Daniels has been treated since revealing that Piss-boy paid her for sex. Or the fate of the college wrestler who jerked off a few times on Sean Cody. Look at what was said about the women (and men) who came forward in the #MeToo movement. While I’d like to live in a world where people weren’t slut-shamed for liking sex (or offering it as a service for a price), I rather doubt we’ll get to that world terribly soon. There are always going to be phobes and haters, and I feel little reason to doubt that such folks would gang up on any public figure they discovered had a past in porn, even if it were of the tumblr or OFF/JFF variety.
I agree with some of that. I also think that people like Danials and the Sean Cody guy are important figures in this process (as are all of the hundreds of thousands of dudes stroking and busting on tumblr) because they are normalizing sexual behavior in a more broad and mainstream manner. Or at the very least normalizing the presence of that behavior.
I think there is a loose parallel to be drawn to gay rights and the path toward more mainstream acceptance and legal protections; visibility and (for lack of a less melodramatic term) social martyrs are how society came around to where we find ourselves today. Keeping sexuality secret or bottom-shelf-brown-paper-bag isn’t going to earn any steps forward in this dance.
-t
Great job on this post! I agree that the freedom that has become available to everyone to revel in their healthy sexuality online, and show off their love and enjoyment of their bodies is a fantastic development. I also wish that I had the option to share my sex life in this way when I was a teenager and younger adult, it would have been awesome! This sharing is one of the critical ways in which we are ending the ridiculous and pointless shame directed at most everyone who had decided to share the joy and freedom they have found in their healthy sexuality. We are aiming at a healthier sexual future without shame!
Well, what I will tell you is that it’s never too late for you to start. This post talks about grownup guys who decide to open up this way on camera, and the shocking lack of joy and presence in lots of these videos; grimacing and eye closing seem to be the norm.
What I think I neglected to say in that post is that these clips are probably part of a larger/longer process for these guys of uncovering who they are and accessing the vulnerability required to be joyful and present during shared masturbation. Nobody does it all great the first time out.
I’d be glad to watch and find a way to share anything you wanted to post if you’ve got an XTube or PornHub account. We’re probably due for a mature jackers post soon!
Glad you’re reading!
-t