27 Nov Dream Daddies: Paul Adams
Maybe part of the dream is that I can’t find any real details about who this inspiring man is.
I don’t feel like we do a lot of porny thirsting over random individuals here. There was this post (which I need to come up with another in the Bulge Kings series pretty soon) and then this one about why I think Derek Bolt is great. But otherwise we’re often talking more about what we’re doing – in life, with our penises, etc – and I think that’s more important.
But I was struck by some images of this guy the other day, and the more I thought about it, and the harder I looked to find out who he really was, the more I wanted to talk about these images here, just on their face value. There is something substantial to the idea that visibility and representation matter. Those ideas are more regularly thrown around with regard to women and people of color in media and high profile roles.
The way I want to look at those terms today, though, is in regard to mature sexuality and sexual pride (meaning the ability to be proud, not pertaining to the parade or gay culture in any real way). Western culture is very comfortable desexualizing men of a certain age, gay or otherwise; rendering them sort of neutered, khaki-wearing dad-blobs. And then – past another certain age – rendering them so sexless and obviously undesirable that is humorous when men would insinuate they still wanted and enjoyed sexual interaction; where the trope of the ‘horny old grandpa’ comes into play.
What I am most inspired by is men who live seemingly unaware that society (as a whole) doesn’t view them as sexual or as any kind of sexual threat (for lack of a better term). These men persist into their 60s-70s-80s+, showing their bulges, jacking off, watching porn, engaging with partners (maybe even escorts), and discovering new things about their bodies and their desires all the while. I poked at this idea in this post, where I talked about how older generations seem largely visibly disconnected and joyless in the videos they were producing. But the very fact that they’re making these videos is goddamned amazing.
When you look at where these men likely were – the social climate in which they grew up, particularly in America – as they came into their understandings of their bodies and of how their bodies related to other bodies, that they have the courage (nay, the audacity) to film and share and discuss without shame, that is incredible. Perhaps ‘without shame’ is too strong a concept, but certainly ‘while mitigating or addressing the shame they feel or felt’ is an appropriate way to think of it.
Which brings me to Paul Adams today. I don’t know who this guy is, and almost all of the information I have about him, I’m gleaning from his photos. He does not appear to be a professional adult/xxx model or performer, and most of the images I’ve been able to collect seem to actually be selfies made with a timer or remote. But this guy has the most gorgeous presentation of his body and his erect penis, and a sense of joyfulness and humor throughout. He is a phenomenal illustration of the idea of Penis Pride.
I love the idea that there are men out there in the world who – instead of being bogged down with sexual shame, or guilt about past sexual encounters or religious dogma – are getting naked, taking photos of themselves, and sharing them with the world. I’ve said it her before, but this is where the idea that representation matters comes into play. Seeing these proud, aroused, and happy men in these states gives permission and authority to others to live and be similarly. Seeing men who are over 40 (50, 60, 70) who are sexual and desirable (and not in a comedic way) matters! In a similar vein to Tom of Finland’s ultra-masc portrayal of homosexual sex paving the way for masculine gay men to become commonplace (as compared to the common mincing, effeminate depictions in film and television), these men change the perception of maturity, with every photo they take.
Whatever the reason Paul Adams took all these photos, that he did it is important. That he put them out into the world is incredible. Paul Adams is goddamned amazing, and I could look at him naked all day long. His thoughtful and well photographed nudes are inspirational, and if one dude can look at these pics and think “Oh. He looks like me. Maybe I’m ok,” then that’s all that truly matters about this.
I’m grateful you’re out there Paul. If you ever see or read this, and would like to get in touch, I would welcome it. I’m also glad to attribute to any sites or other pics you have, or to remove all of it if you’d prefer. But I think you’re amazing, and should keep doing this forever.
PS – it goes without saying that if you know anything about Mr. Adams, and want to share it, you should also get in touch! Or leave what you know in the comments so we can share it.