GHOST Poppers Review: Ultra Strong Means Something Different to Ghosts, Maybe

I will admit to you that these made me nervous. The “Ultra Strong” designation and a big “DANGER” tag on the side of the poppers bottle kept me treading light. At first.

Having lived in Toronto (where selling poppers is technically illegal and importing them can lose you money when customs snags them at the border), and now in eternal lockdown Berlin, it’s been a real struggle to get great poppers for penis time. Never mind having a selection from which I could choose; I felt like a high schooler desperately clinging to my last sad almost-empty bottle and saving it only for special occasions.

The law about poppers in Germany is less severe than in Canada, although they are still marketed here largely as “leather cleaners” instead of sex drugs. I found a German language site called Kaufen Poppers (literally “buy poppers”) that had a selection of brands I’d never seen or heard of, closed my eyes, and picked a pack at random. About 35€ later, I had three bottles of new-to-me penis power juice in my hands in about five days. I’m inherently wary of the standard US sex shop brands like Jungle Juice Platinum or Rush, so I was happy to see some weird new labels in my pack. Those brands are fine, but are far from the best poppers in the world, and can produce headaches and yucky sinuses, depending on the batch and how old they are. (FWIW, the best poppers experience I ever had was at the London Jack Off Club, when I was luck enough to get to attend one of their meet ups)

Weirdly, we haven’t ever really talked about poppers here – my personal love for them or which are the best poppers brands or anything. I guess now’s the time! And what better way to start that with a poppers review.

Over this last year, and the last 3-4 months in particular, it’s fair to say that my masturbation habits have changed pretty drastically. And not for the better. It often feels more perfunctory than pleasurable; a draining of the tanks to avoid explosion.

I’m an advocate for spilling seed every day, unless you’re saving up to make a big penis purchase or you’re some kind of master edger who gets off harder on not cumming. Ejaculating regularly (researchers and medical professionals suggest an average of 21 times every month) is essential exercise for your prostate and, as with most any exercise, the more you do it the more you can do it. Semen retention has zero scientifically demonstrable benefits, and doesn’t even result in a bigger finale for every man, universally. For some guys the load is about the same, whether they’ve saved it up 5 hours or 5 days. That tends to be where I fall, and why there isn’t a lot of value for me in holding it in.

So I’m making an effort these days to keep things more active, and more pleasure focused instead of simply lazily extracting sperm before bed. Along with these new poppers, I also have a new, clear, Fleshlight to break in, thanks to a generous response to my last post. It’s the beginning of a new month, and a new chance to go for an every-day-blast-off streak.

Poppers Review: Ghost Ultra Strong (with Mega Pellet)

It’s obvious that the poppers industry is unregulated af, and poppers can be anything from pure classic amyl to isobutyl or alkyl nitrite. That makes good comparisons really difficult and terms like “Strong” or “Ultra Strong” entirely subjective.

I cracked open this 24ml bottle of Ghost Poppers expecting a pretty traditional poppers experience, and I wasn’t disappointed. People use poppers for different outcomes, and I’ve never been one of those “poppers help me relax” people.

What I love is the sort of hot, foggy, clarity of the poppers rush. One where you can really focus on the sensations coming off your penis, and feel completely at easy with everything that’s happening. Self consciousness and worries about how you look or what you’re doing just isn’t possible because your brain is all jammed up with penis smells and feels.

With a label like “Ultra Strong” I was expecting nothing less.

Ghost poppers delivered about 75% of the way on that. I started small with single huffs, but eventually got back to my 1 hit deep on each nostril and one quick breath through my mouth system. While this stuff did the job – got me confused, warm, and rosy red – it wasn’t quite what I’m after in a poppers rush. I like a full experience, and there was something about this fog that wasn’t quite thorough enough. I could still think my thoughts and navigate the video I was watching without a lot of additional effort. The best poppers make extraneous thinking impossible and fucking with video playback completely disinteresting. All you wanna think about is goofy grinning and rubbing your donger.

I’ll keep this bottle until it runs out, or gets ineffective. But I don’t think I’ll buy the Ghost mark a second time.

-t