Out with the old and in with the… wow is this too tight for anybody else? Should I have ordered a Large? Let’s review.
Sad news, I’m afraid. My prized Fleshlight Turbo – about which I have written lots and which you’ve seen in lots of late night cam sessions back in the day when I did cam stuff – has passed on to the other side. They* will be missed. After a particularly gruelling three-load evening, I left it on the drying rack overnight. When I came into the bathroom the next morning I found it had split completely up the side, along a seam or tear I hadn’t noticed previously. There it lay, dead on the cold tile floor:
The Fleshlight Turbo was really something special in the Fleshlight family. Like I said in my review, the Turbo was more geared toward my interests, tastes, and usage than other styles, particularly in that it wasn’t meant to imitate a butthole or a face. There was marketing language that described it as “simulating” a blowjob, but as you can see from the filleted inner sleeve in the photos up there, that took some hardcore imagining on the part of the user.
In keeping with how we talk about masturbation on this blog as a type of sex, rather than a substitute or rehearsal for “real” sex, I don’t personally recommend or use masturbation tools that are made to look like stand-ins for body parts or people. That may not be everyone’s preference, but I think the practice of learning how to enjoy masturbation and penis time on its own terms, rather than as a replacement for something else, is an important step toward reviewing and understanding ourselves and our sexual preferences more fully.
I fucking love how clear the Fleshlight GO is
There are so many elements of male sexuality and male masturbation that feel peculiar or silly when written out on a page. But if you told another guy with a penis about them, they would be immediately understood crystal clarity.
One of those silly sounding but awesome things is using clear plastic penis tools. It is so gd fun to look down ad see your boner looking magnified and more massive than ever, packed into a vacuum pump or a masturbator. It just makes you feel like a king for a minute and I can’t help grinning over my clear plastic magnified donger.
As I mentioned in this post, some surprise generosity came my way from someone I like a lot, and I used some of it to purchase a new clear Fleshlight masturbator from Amazon. I didn’t do my research beforehand, but have owned 6-8 FLs in my day and figured I’d be fine with whatever I ended up with.
Clear or not, the GO is not a regular Fleshlight — it’s travel-sized
The Fleshlight GO is beautifully constructed and actually feels great in your palm; heavy and easy to hold on to. It’s significantly more compact than the traditional Fleshlight body, though, and a couple inches shorter, top to bottom. This could potentially make it great for travel. It definitely makes for an easier suitcase pack than the traditional size Fleshlight.
What I didn’t anticipate is that this tighter body case left way less room for air around the sleeve itself: there was no room to grow, so to speak, even though the sleeve itself is intensely stretchy and capable of accommodating big dongs.
The non-anatomical opening is just a round hole surrounded by some spiraly shapes, and while it stretches quite a lot, it’s a tight fukkin fit. I’m not somebody who has a huge dick, or even mistakenly believes they have a huge dick. I’m about average+, by my own estimation, and it’s a struggle to get into this thing without some force.
One of the reasons that I use masturbators like the Fleshlight, is because my own grip can sometimes be a touch too enthusiastic, leading to friction burns and just low-grade glans irritation that my doctor is very tired of reassuring me is definitely not some previously unheard of STI.
The Fleshlight GO gives my grip a run for its money, though. Penetrating the first 2-3 inches rolls my foreskin all the way back and holds it there (rather than allowing it to move up and down of its own accord, they way god wants). As I already said, my penis looks super cool like this. But it isn’t my favorite sensation, penisly speaking.
The GO has a unique inner texture that works well for some and is just eh for others. I tend to be one of the ones who can take it or leave it, and ridges or diamond shapes or swirls all do the same dong-rubbing work to make me cum. It takes a more refined palette than my penis possesses to notice a real difference in the sensation between Fleshlights, I guess is what I’m trying to say. This one is as good as the next – I just wish I didn’t need some kind of penis-slimming Spanks to get all the way into it.
After several years of use, my Fleshlight Turbo had been stretched and worn out just the way I like it. I don’t require strong suction or tight friction from a masturbator and I usually use a Fleshlight without the bottom cap on so as to completely avoid the vacuum created by the in and out pistoning. I love a LOT of water-based, cyberskin-safe lube coating the entirety of a sloppy, cushy inner sleeve tube. I wanna hear it squish when I pump.
It’s possible that I’ll be able to break in the Fleshlight GO a bit more over time. You’re never meant to use oil-based products on silicone or the property silicone blend that makes up the patented Cyberskin of Fleshlight brand products, but I’ve had good luck in the past with using a light coating of Albolene to soften up well-made silicone products to achieve a more custom fit.
I do not advise trying that with your own toys, however. I encourage you to follow the manufacturer’s instructions for lubricating and cleaning (no soap, no detergents, and water-based lubricants ONLY). But if I don’t try to get this fucker to open up a bit more, I’m gonna be stuck with basically a guest Fleshlight, instead of one I can use regularly.
Next up on my to-buy (or hope somebody offers to send me) list is a replacement Fleshlight Turbo, and the Missionary Mount by Liberator:
I love using the shower mount with a standard Fleshlight attached to the underside of my desk and pumping out a load while I grin along to Proudbator vids. But I’d REALLY love to be able to take that action over to the couch or the floor and pump some sperms deep into this weird, allegedly easy to clean ottoman. Plus, think of the fun I’ll have explaining it to company: “it’s a cup holder. Duh.”
A sideways cup holder.
To sum up the review:
- Fleshlight is the ultimate masturbator. It just is
- Non-anatomical opening means no pretending about “blowjob simulations” or “stamina training”
- Solid-feeling, easy to hold
- Smaller size means easier to travel with your Fleshlight
- It’s clear and my donger looks enormous when I can finally get it all in there!
- I don’t have that big of a penis and it’s work to get myself into this narrower body tube
- Stretches my foreskin uncomfortably, even with lots of lube
- Why did I buy a travel masturbator? Where do I think I’m going?
If you have the choice – get you the Turbo. I’ll let you know how my project to open this hole up a bit more goes.
… Didn’t Luke Skywalker use to play with a thing like that in those old movies about a decadent society, where people wore nazi helmets and funny coiffures ?! I remember it made noise, too: like a million bees gone mad…
Tyler Dårlig Ulv
HAH! I’d bet what Luke used would have fit around my very regular sized dong better that this thing XD
Always so happy you’re here.
If the Fleshlight is the penultimate masturbator, meaning that it is the second to last, what is the last masturbator?
Tyler Dårlig Ulv
Ha! Good catch, Tim. Maybe I meant it’s the second to last masturbator you’ll ever need – with the last one you’ll truly ever need being ol’ righty/lefty.
I could have picked a better word, huh? 😉
Hahaha…….Yeah seems true…..But nice review Tyler, love your thought process
Keep em coming