Because it’s a terrible holiday that makes everyone who’s not having a deep and meaningful relationship feel badly about that fact. I, for one, am having a deep and meaningful relationship with my own boner this year. And you should too. In celebration of Valentine’s Day, 2017, I’m sharing the top best ideas from […]
5 Minutes of Cubby Popperbate Deliciousness
Dunno who this dude is, but I could watch him work that dong all day. There hasn’t been a Monday Masturbator post up here in a while. Let’s fix that. Today is another rando tumblr gem, brought to you courtesy of Goldn Ticket Popper Vids. The guy who runs that tumblr seems to know […]
Don’t Let Your Kids Learn About Jackin It From Someone Like Me!
Especially when there are great books like this out there. As I’ve admitted before, sometimes I just type stuff like “dicks” or “penisbate” into search bars on Groupon or Amazon just to see what comes up when I do it. Most times it’s nothing of note. But sometimes, I find discount masturbation toys that […]
We Need To Talk: About Ejaculating
Are there scarier words in the English language than “we need to talk?” Welcome to 2017, everybody! We’ve all got fresh clean slates with which to start the year off, and we’re keeping up with resolutions, if that’s our thing. I want to take this opportunity to discuss some things that we maybe wouldn’t […]
I Bought a Masturbator from Groupon!
I know! I’m as surprised as anyone! I don’t talk about it much (because I’m ashamed) but I’m a secret Groupon shopper, and I love it. They send me emails every day (for no fewer than 3 different cities) and I read all of them. A LOT of stuff in my house has come from […]
Raiders Beat the Chargers 19-16, Due To On Field Masturbation
Subtitled: The Day Tyler Learned to Love Football. Oh, mercy. You take a few days to be busy with other things, and post no blogs, and the best thing to happen all year takes place. I suppose it wouldn’t have mattered if I were busy or not, though, since it happened in one of the […]