Jump to Wanking, Watersports, Whacking Off
Main Entry: Masturbation
British slang for male masturbation, wanking, as a term, holds a deep undercurrent of negative emotional quality. This is likely rooted in stigma and toxic masculinity, which insists that masturbatory sex is subordinate and inferior to penetrative heterosexual intercourse (which of course men “ought” to be seeking instead of going it alone). It may also speak to “loose morals” or a perceived lack of self control or intelligence. This is where the bile behind using “wanker” as a pejorative, synonymous with “idiot” or “fool,” lives. In other words: it wouldn’t be an insult if you didn’t think there was something inherently bad about it.
We are all wankers, brothers. Stop slinging that like it’s sharp.
The term watersports (sometimes water sports or WS) refers to the practice of urinating on or being urinated on by a partner (and not surfing, water skiing, or swimming). It can also describe any kind of sexual play that involves urination, including consumption, bladder control games, and public self wetting.
Watersports enjoys an unjustly complicated position on the sex menu, with many people finding it unsuitably dirty or raunchy. The reality is that urine is largely safe, though not clinically “sterile.” It may contain bacteria picked up along the ride from bladder to open air, but does not transmit or communicate things like HIV. Our cultural nose scrunching about piss more likely comes from the same evolutionary lizard brain stuff that causes cats to bury their waste and hamsters to reliably go in the corner instead of their beds. But as mammals with access to more complex processing power, this initial disgusted reaction can be evaluated to allow for some exploration.
And that’s when the fun starts! I’m a fan of watersports in general because it represents a kind of openness and intimacy that is distinct from even masturbatory or penetrative sexual activity. Urination is something we are conditioned from birth is to be done privately – almost in secret – and there are almost no occasions when it is viewed as acceptable or desirable to share. Do it in public and punishment ranges from a fine to an arrest, depending where you live! Even most modern urinals feature physical barriers between them, and all feature mental barriers constructed by an eyes on your own paper ideology designed to respect masculine distance and privacy. Watching your urinal neighbor piss, even covertly, is arguably a violation of his privacy and outside the bounds of real consent. If he wants you to see, he will let you know, and forcing your sexual practices and wants on others is never part of the game.
Consent-based watersports, though, is a playground so fun as to defiy good description. It requires a presence and comfort (a confidence even) that supersedes even that of buddybate and fb relationships. Allowing someone to share the warmth and sensations associated with pissing, whether it’s you on them, them on you, or both of you together is a uniting glue, and even describing here it has me boned. Some of the best sex parties I’ve ever attended featured unrestrained and open urination and afforded a new strata of exposure and connection to those willing to participate.
See also: In Defense Of: Watersports & Piss, Solo Outdoor Watersports: Intimate, Erotic, and Astonishingly Beautiful, Men Piss In the Sink Because It’s Cool
Main Entry: Masturbation
Whacking off (also whacking it) is something of a cute or colorful way to describe traditional male penis masturbation. While it can occasionally be infused with a negative connotation based on usage and context, it is more often used in a lighthearted or silly way.