“Wtf is all this?” I can hear you practically shouting right now.
And you’re in luck! Because I’ve got an answer. This site, badwolf.blog is a resource for penis masturbators.
Oh. That didn’t clear it up for you? Let’s see if I can longform something more edifying then:
As a society, as far as we’ve come in reducing shame and stigma about the sexuality and sexual biology (the parts that are baked into our very bones as human animals) of men, we still have a long way to go. Men are still taught, from the youngest of ages, that sex is something around which they must have inherent feelings of shame and inherent feelings of inadequacy, and about which they oughtn’t politely talk or write or think with any enthusiasm or wonder. This is where the “naughtiness” or “freakiness” of sex is born.
Gay, straight, bi, or otherwise, toxic masculinity still informs the ways boys and men are trained to see our bodies, the bodies of other men, and sexuality as a whole. Ideas of set roles (particularly in the hetero-mimicry of top/bottom/vers, if you’re having sex with other men), acceptable levels of desire or interest, and physical dominance combined with emotional denial or distance, still make up the foundation of how guys understand their penis and what is expected of them as men. Intimacy and vulnerability are still not prized or even explained well to male children and teens. Compound all that with the confusing notion that men are meant to be inherently expert at sexual interactions from minute one of their adventures, and you’re left with a weird soup of some folks feeling invalidated and unsure, and some folks desperately trying to convince everyone they’ve got it figured out (despite their internal unsureness).
While there is no shortage of sexually explicit material available to almost anyone today, there is precious little that addresses the ideas that sex is for everyone (not just for physically desirable young white people who lucked into socially acceptable western beauty standards or genital blessings), and that there are as many ways to come at it as there are penises on Wikipedia.
Our goal in this space then, is to start at the beginning and to examine this beginning as a way to learn more about ourselves and each other. In the realm of sex, masturbation is a great beginning, and one that is critically overlooked in sexual education and sexual discourse. It is frequently treated with bizarre and disaffecting clinical distance, or written about as by an alien from Mars delivering their first 3rd grade oral report:
How does masturbation work?
You rub your hand up and down your penis and the head of your penis. When a man does this to himself, it’s called masturbating. Masturbating is also called wanking or jerking off. A man gets turned on by masturbating, and may have an orgasm.-sense.info
Who on the whole entire earth can possibly read a paragraph like that and feel as though they are making any progress toward understanding their own biological needs or experience? Is sense.info a site from the Netherlands not properly written by someone who speaks English as a first language? It is. But it ranks on page one of google. Meaning, whether it’s good information or not, LOTS of people are finding it.
You might think a resource like WebMD would do better. But nope:
Masturbation is not risk free:
Frequent or rough masturbation can cause minor skin irritation. Forcefully bending an erect penis can rupture the chambers that fill with blood, a rare but gruesome condition called penile fracture.
Köhler has seen guys with it after vigorous masturbation. “Afterward, the penis looks like an eggplant,” he says. “It’s purple and swollen.” Most men need surgery to repair it.Male Masturbation on WebMD
Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeet the fuck up outta here with that fear-mongering, manipulative shit.
This entire article (like much of WebMD, if we’re being honest) is riddled with problematic angles and flat out factual errors, including the unkillable quasi-fact that “masturbation doesn’t have the health benefits that sex does.” What is meant by that is that a LOT of research has been done into how the male body responds during sexual intercourse. But a lot LESS research has been done into exclusively masturbatory responses. And so the available results are largely inconclusive. WebMD’s only attempt to address this discrepancy should leave you questioning everything else they have to say about whacking it:
Why would it make a difference whether you ejaculate during sex or on your own? No one’s sure.Male Masturbation on WebMD
It’s just impossible to know, isn’t it! What a mysterrryyyy!
The point of all this is that we’re growing more and more aware that information comes with an inherent agenda. And facts and studies are manipulated in their presentation to promote these agendas. It’s how the incels at the No Fap project (google it if you want – you’ll never see me link to this hate speech from this site) managed to take unsubstantiated doctrine about sexual abstinence from the Nazis and promote it on social media as a cogent cure-all to unsuspecting men who haven’t yet learned that their penis is a goddamned wonderland of pleasure and connection.
If, by virtue of honest discussion and openness, we can make some small blip of difference to a handful of penis-havers* on badwolf.blog, then that feels like a win. I will always strive to provide and signal-boost substantiated, scientific information here where it’s possible. But I will not platform abstinence or toxic masculinity masquerading as self improvement, no matter how cleverly disguised it arrives.
[*As an aside: I’ll often use the term men as a catchall and synonym for people with penises, but I encourage anyone with a penis to take what they find of value here and apply it to their own life – or better still, engage in comments and feedback and help us all to better understand different experience and how it connects with our own.]
TL/DR About badwolf.blog:
These are the tenants that everything published here should promote, and which I encourage you to examine and absorb in whatever ways you find beneficial:
Pillars of Penis
- There is nothing shameful about your body or your genitals. Full stop.
This doesn’t even need qualification. That is a stone-cold fact, and I encourage you to find a path toward accepting and living it.
- You are a person, and people are still just animals.
This isn’t an excuse or an invitation toward cruel or unthoughtful behaviour or conduct. But it is an open door toward excusing yourself for having and acknowledging biological needs and body stuff that may be outside of your conscious control. Everything from the need to sleep, to the unavoidable morning erection, and the more amorphous desires to be seen, touched, and understood, falls into this area. Build yourself some emotional padding when it comes to things you can’t control just by sheer force of will.
- The continued existence of human beings literally depends on sex.
So why are we still spending energy and breath protecting and suppressing it at every turn? Why are we so convinced that it is damaging and controversial? Why is it even a subject for debate that young people should understand every part of it they possibly can, from as rational a perspective as is possible? And why are we so intent on living with the present rules about who can have sex, and for what purposes?
- You can have sex with anyone (even just with yourself!) and it still matters and counts, because gender is an illusion and roles and rules are all made up.
This one is a sticky wicket for lots of people who have constructed their whole lives around gender performance (whether they acknowledge that performance or not) and sexual roles. “Being” a “top” is just a made up structure designed to convey something about your interests and what you understand so far about your capacity for engagement and pleasure; a label that you certainly didn’t invent, and may not have even chosen for yourself if you really think deep about its root.
If that works for you – awesome. Labels can be helpful sometimes. But strive to understand that your labels and roles aren’t inherent to your core being or even really a significant way to describe the fullness of your experience to most people around you. They’re just made up.
- Because of pillar 4, it stands to reason that you can admire, engage with, and express love toward other penis-having folk without identifying as “gay.”
This is a big one and should probably be at the top of the pillar pile. No matter what you’ve heard or what you’ve known up until now, straight men can have sex with other men, and it doesn’t have to define them. Did I just blow your mind? No? Great, you’re probably in the right place then.
If you identify as straight, but jack off to, with, or for other men, then that’s cool. If you’ve never done that but wonder about it and seek out information about those experiences, that’s cool too. If you’re a gold-star homosexual and only want to ever bate or have sex with other gays (frankly, you’re limiting yourself tremendously, but) that’s also cool.
You are all brothers whether you feel it yet or not.
- Your penis is amazing.
It’s true! It’s a conduit to connection, understanding, and pleasure, unlike any other part of you. If you listen to some people, it is even a channel to the divine. Simply by virtue of having one, you are connected to the untold multitudes who have come before you and found connection, understanding, and pleasure by having a penis; your father, his father, and all the men who have ever been and will be. We all share this having and the unmeasurable capacity our having provides. That’s so huge!
I love your penis.
FAQ about Penises and Masturbation
Because I think it is serious all the time. How men understand their bodies informs how men understand their place in the world. Living a life that is governed by or mired in shame helps no one, least of all the one experiencing that shame. Learning to see how similar we all are is a big step toward self acceptance and learning to love you.
Funny enough, they don’t! Entire movements are happening right now which encourage people to abstain from masturbation as a way to magically improve every facet of their lives from their posture to their profession. And it’s all rooted in pseudoscience and stigma. It’s pretty plain that exploiting areas where men are already lacking in real information, yet still feel deep shame or embarrassment, is reprehensible and deserves to have some positive light shone on it.
Nope! It is given to us in endless varieties and formats from birth, though. Parents, siblings, teachers, and even stories and myths communicate the unquestioned ubiquitousness of shame through direct verbal queues (“you ought to be ashamed!”) and indirect modeling and demonstration through their own lives.
It is up to you to decide whether shame or embarrassment that you feel is serving you in some manner, or if it is worth exploring how to put some of it on the shelf so that you can live more openly and experience more connection and more love.
If you lived alone on a tiny island and never communicated with another soul ever again, probable none. No difference.
But because we all interact and communicate to some degree each and every day, it is worth examining how we do that interacting and communicating. Sexual and genital shame informs more of how men navigate their worlds than most people would suspect, and learning to rid oneself of some of that weight inherently alters how they navigate their worlds.
There isn’t a big, long, qualifying answer to that. And it doesn’t make you gay. Or even say anything meaningful about who you are as a person, other than that you wanted to masturbate with other penis-having folks. It’s actually pretty fun.
100% yes. Fantasy space is yours alone. While I encourage you to examine the roots or origins of your fantasies to see if they’re potentially coming from negative places, this is a realm that is not governed by “ok” or “not ok.” You make the rules in fantasy, and what you fantasize about does not define you as a person. Straight men fantasize about greasy dong, too.
You can. But only in the sense that it might cause skin irritation if done too frequently and vigorously, or without lube.
But you can’t in the sense that it is not physiologically addicting (neither is porn, sorry to say), no matter what you’ve read in unscrupulous agenda-pushing corners of the internet.
I’m not! And I don’t ever profess to know more than I really do. What I suggest and promote comes from a life of experience as an out and proud masturbator, and a decade-plus-long career as a full service male sex worker. I have engaged with thousands of people over my life, and there are identifiable threads and commonalities to be found in the way men are conditioned to think about their physical bodies and about the sex they have or desire.
That isn’t a question! But you can by using this form. Please note that I can’t engage in explicit conversation, and may not be able to reply to all messages. If you are interested in meeting in real life, I encourage you to check out my personal website for more information about how to make that happen.
I’m a writer, elite companion/male escort, and all-around penis enthusiast. My last name literally means “bad wolf” in Norwegian, and I use him/his/bro pronouns.
I started this blog as a part of my personal escort website way back in 2010, and it grew cumbersome enough to deserve its own home around 2012. While I’ve worked pretty hard to clarify my mission for this site, more than anything it’s my home to unpack whatever weird…