Scrotal weights are very literally weights worn around the scrotum, designed to create a constant pulling or weighted sensation on the testicles. Also known as ball weights, scrotal weights began as a relatively niche BDSM tool designed to “punish” subs and inflict pain as a part of CBT (or cock and ball torture). When weighted for an extended period, the scrotum and testicles can become extra sensitive and any stimulation or pain inflicted is amplified.
Weights have become a more mainstream bator accessory in the last 5-10 years, with most online sex shops offering at least some form of steel ball weight device. Although they can be used to enhance bate sessions alone, when worn regularly for extended periods, scrotal weights work to permanently elongate the scrotal skin and testicular structures. The result is permanently longer and floppier balls, which can be considered a mild form of genital or body modification. It can also be considered very, very cool.
Scrotal weights are not the same as ball stretchers, though the terms are sometimes used interchangeably. Stretchers are tall, solid rings of hard leather, neoprene, or silicone rubber, which achieve similar means in stretching the scrotum, but through applied force rather than sustained downward weight.
Also sometimes confused for stretchers and weights are scrotal or ball rings. These are literally just solid or flexible rings worn around the scrotum, which rest upon the top of the testicles and can be considered genital enhancement accessories.
Often times the words we have to talk about sex are not helpful or don’t fully apprehend the ideas we’re trying to express. Such is the case with a word like genitals. Taken in the scientific context, it refers exclusively to the penis and scrotum (these are considered secondary sex organs, behind the testes which are considered primary sex organs) in cis male bodies. And it really only refers, as many terms do, to reproductive sexual function. This frame colors a lot of the words and terms available to us, and doesn’t really fit how we discuss and enjoy sex to begin with.
Sex parts are considered any parts of the body that may be involved in sexual stimulation (whether in solo masturbation or shared sexual engagement). They include things like your penis and your balls (the term we’re using for the scrotum and testicles together), but may radiate out to include the ballback, anus, nipples, and more. Any touch-sensitive part of the body which features in arousal or sexual stimulation can be considered a sex part. Some body-confident bators even include their belly or their buttocks in their description of sex parts.
As it varies from person to person, sex part is a subjective term that may not correlate to your own stimulation or experience. For me, even my nips are sometimes not active or reliable sex parts. That’s part of why I engage in intentional nipple pumping, as part of an effort to deliberately cultivate sensation there which is associated with sexual arousal and pleasure.
Shame, as we will address it here, can be thought of as a universal basic emotion that moves people to hide, deny, or otherwise conceal thoughts or actions perceived (by themselves or by other) as wrong. Most often we will discuss shame as it relates to our bodies, genitals, and sexual activity. In these cases, shame can be understood to be learned; beginning in childhood, from parents, friends, and authority figures (teachers, priests, firemen). Even in the healthiest of upbringings, we learn (both directly via punishment and indirectly through observation) that there is something inherently unacceptable about certain patches of our body. We mustn’t touch or expose them, and we mustn’t let others touch or expose their parts.
Even without resorting to a case for total social anarchy where everyone is free to expose their buttholes and hairy balls to anyone at any time, it’s still easy to say that this is fundamentally bogus and that it creates long-term harm when not addressed in a direct and meaningful way. As with almost any “unacceptable” idea or behavior, the labeling as such does nothing to stop or control it (did you stop masturbating as a child/teen forever because it was “wrong?” Or did you keep doing it but instead felt badly afterward?), but rather relegates it to secrecy and complicated, unexplored emotional responses. It is this secrecy that results in feelings of confusion, fear, and ultimately shame. Boys grow into men with extremely significant parts of their human experience denied and concealed, while being exposed to endless sexual and pornographic imagery in their daily life. The result is a cultural and community standard that is in direct conflict with the reality of their biological drives, frosted with base level fears about exposure or social exile if discovered. Society tells us that we must disguise and conceal the size and shape of our genitals, and not discuss our interest in or pleasure with our bodies in polite company. Simultaneously, toxic masculinity contradicts that we, as men, are unavoidably sexual creatures who are to seek and crave sexual stimulation without end until we die. Where does the truth live?
And this is all before ideas of distinct cultural or religious shame are introduced, many of which pertain exclusively to sexual function and masturbation. This is a list of some of the world’s largest organized religions and their most top-level views on masturbation. If you were raised in a tradition (religious or secular) that discouraged, vilified, or outlawed non-reproductive sexual function, it is possible you still carry deep-seated feelings of shame about your penis, your body, and your innate biological drives. In fact, without conscious effort and work, these feelings can be lifelong sources of suffering and sadness.
This blog is predicated on the fact (it’s not an “idea” or a “theory,” it is quite literally necessary to our species’ survival) that sexual function is part of our biology as animals. That includes reproductive sexual function, as well as non-reproductive sexual function (or pleasure-focused sex).
Further, our bodies and our biology are not logical sources of shame. It is not logical to feel shame about the size and shape of your penis, or your desire to engage with other bodies in a sexual manner.
Because emotions don’t follow logic though, things aren’t quite as simple as “it’s illogical, stop feeling that way.”
Therefore, the most effective way to combat and permanently change feelings of shame is by removing the secrecy of our penises and our sexual lives. Talking and listening, as well as showing and sharing our likes, our perceived flaws, and our bodies and their expressions of pleasure and arousal teach us (whether we’re doing the showing/sharing, or we’re just watching), that we are not alone. That we are unified and that our sameness is present and identifiable in our own penises and in Penis.
Penis slime is a magical part of owning and playing with penises. Also known as pre-ejaculatory fluid, pre-seminal fluid or Cowper’s fluid – or precum if you’re not about playing games – slime is a fantastic indicator of arousal and virtually impossible to fake. It is also not a universal condition, with some penises producing rivers of slime at every bate, and some only a drop or two on rare occasions.
There is no correlation between precum and fertility, masculinity, or penis size or intact status.
Produced by the Cowper’s glands, the clear, odorless fluid functions in reproductive contexts to pave the way, as it were, for successful transmission and survival of sperm. In non-reproductive contexts, it’s just good fun for the whole family.
Noun: the male reproductive cell involved in sexual reproduction. Animals produce motile sperm which posseses a tail used for propulsion and the sperm cell and flagellum together are known as a spermatozoa. Flowers and fungi produce non-motile sperm cells. The word sperm comes from the Greek root σπέρμα, or sperma, meaning seed.
Sperm cells in human males form in the testicles, during a process which takes about three months from beginning to end. Because sperm cells cannot divide and have a limited shelf life, regular clearing of the inventory is likely beneficial to sperm health and overall genital function.
On this blog and in bator culture, sperm is often used interchangeably with cum, semen, ejaculate, etc. This is not scientifically accurate, as ejaculate contains a number of other fluids and chemicals, distinct from actual sperm cells. But we’re going to keep calling it that.
Verb: to sperm, or sperming is the actual physical process of producing semen, or ejaculating. When masturbating with a partner or group, or in front of a bate coach, it can be common to hear a bator near orgasm encouraged to “sperm their penis,” or “show” their sperm. Sperming can be synonymous with cumming, but with the focus typically heavy on the visible occurrence of the ejaculate. One wants to see somebody sperm their penis. Not just be happy they experienced an orgasm.
Stigma can be defined as a perceived or real exclusion from social groups or reception, associated with an undesirable, or unacceptable label or trait. One might feel shame about a perceived difference in anatomical structure or physical ability, and that shame might be exacerbated by social norms or expectations, resulting in the stigmatization of that individual. For example, if you believe you have a small or unaesthetic penis, but see only large and beautiful penises in videos and images, you might grow to understand that possessing a small penis is a stigma. It is undesirable and outside of the established norm.
Masturbation is still a largely stigmatized activity, despite science and common sense arguing loudly to the contrary. Ideas of diminished masculinity and lowered perceived social value persist within a culture underpinned by toxic and harmful ideas about what men are and what they ought to be. As a result, declaring yourself a masturbator doesn’t often engender the same adulation as declaring yourself a marathon runner.
But we’re here to confront and change that. Part of penis pride, and bator pride, is understanding the power and destigmatizing potential for normalizing masturbation. Just imagine the world today, if everyone you knew grew up understanding that their penis was very cool and that we were all pulling on them and smiling about it every chance we got.