Newsweek Says Jacking Off Will Fix Your Sinus Issues!

It’s always the first thing I try anyway.


From last week’s online edition of Newsweek magazine:



Yes. Ok. You have my attention…


So, what’s the verdict? Can this possibly be true, and if so, whaaaa?

Turns out, it’s something that’s only been anecdotally observed, according to Beverly Hills–based plastic surgeon Andrew Ordon, who also holds an ear, nose and throat specialty and is co-host of  [The Doctors].

He explained to Newsweek that ejaculating stimulates the sympathetic nervous system, which also plays a role in bodily processes like pupil dilation and sweating. The thinking goes, that as a result of the surge to this system, various muscles in your body contract, and that includes the ones inside your nose.

This is, of course, just a theory, but Ordon said anatomy and physiology supports this theory. And it isn’t the first time the phenomenon has been documented. In the journal, Medical Hypotheses, Sina Zarrintan, proposed that orgasms could be a viable treatment strategy for sinus congestion in men.

“It can be done time to time to alleviate the congestion, and the patient can adjust the number of intercourses or masturbations depending on the severity of the symptoms,” Zarrintan wrote.

Zarrintan penned his offbeat method as a long-term solution since using decongestants for days on end aren’t advised.

Ordon agreed that drugs aren’t a great option for the chronically congested. He said your nose can get addicted to using these over-the-counter solutions for long periods, and eventually they won’t work as well.


I don’t love the pluralizing of “intercourses or masturbations.” But I DO love the idea that one’s first stop in fixing a problem might be “well, what can my penis do about this?”

Sadly, the article did conclude that this phenomenon was basically only a boy thing:


So far, the same effect doesn’t seem to be documented in women. Ordon explained that ejaculation is different for the sexes, and women don’t receive as big of a surge to their sympathetic nervous system. However, he didn’t rule out the possibility.   


Sorry ladies. But those of us with wangs and some sinus irritation or pressure, click back a few posts and get to work! And if you already know this works, report back in the comments! We wanna know your tricks!


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  • James
    Posted at 06:57h, 22 November Reply

    Another great post, and the best line is “But I DO love the idea that one’s first stop in fixing a problem might be “well, what can my penis do about this?”
    As a young man, I suffered badly from migraines, and my gay friendly doctor at the time, suggested increased masturbation. Within a couple of weeks my migraines became less, and today I have one only every few months. Another reason to increase penising and continue into your old age.

    I also remember reading a couple of years ago about penis reflexology and the various ailments that could be treated with this ancient tantric art. So, as you say Tyler. “… What can my penis do about this?”

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