05 Feb SNL’s Pete Davidson Can Masturbate With His Left Hand
And he’s (rightfully) super proud of it.
I don’t usually talk about celebrities here, because it brings in a lot of weird, off topic traffic that is always saying things like “omg why is this whole blog about jackin it?” And for those of us who are already here, we know why it is.
But I couldn’t resist posting Pete Davidson‘s excited overshare about finally being able to get it all the way done with his Tom Brady hand. After injuring his right (the Drew Bledsoe) hand, Pete got “really good at doing things” with his left, and was super pleased to tell Colin Jost all about it on Weekend Update this Saturday:
Last year Davidson was also on update talking about whacking it after rehab. When asked what he’d been doing with all of his time off, Pete said “I’ve been masturbating.” Because, yeah.
I like his philosophy about busting to clean house, too:
“I’ve gotta masturbate all the bad kids out, Colin, there’s a bunch of dummies in there,” he said. “If I had a kid right now it would come out with a snapback and a neck tattoo.”
If you’re gonna do drugs, make sure you flush it out occasionally, I guess.
Anyway, here’s to you, Pete! Congrats on the new skill for your resume.
And for whatever it’s worth (and if you read this Pete, email me!), you’re way better than a gay 1. Dude is wicked cute and could def get it:
Here’s to the GOAT.
PS – It’s not super related, but google knows what I like, so here’s a retro Steve Martin clip about his foray into celebrity beauty treatments. I would 100% buy this and I think Mr. Martin should consider becoming the Paul Newman of male genital enhancement products.