So special and rare, it’s not even in the google spell check dictionary.

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Welcome to another Monday! To soften the blow (wordplay!), I figured we’d talk about the ultimate Monday Masturbators: the gentlemen of this world who can suck their own dick, and film it for us to share. Wikipedia says that this ability is bestowed on just around 1% of all men in the world. That’s a pretty exclusive club.

As a youth, when I first heard about selfsucking (as it’s known in more common parlance, or when autocorrect won’t help you decide if you’ve spelled ‘autofellation’ right), it sounded like such a ridiculous idea that I was sure it was fiction. Some quick AOL searches (this was a long time ago) revealed that it was not, in fact, fiction, but entirely possible! Thusly, my  12-15 year old self became a man obsessed. I would spend hours in my room, bracing myself up against different furniture and arrangements of pillows, trying desperately to get my foreskin between my teeth. I would jack furiously until I came in my own mouth, which afforded me a few precious refractory minutes of to think about something else before I was overtaken with the idea of “yeah… but THIS time. THIS is the time I’ll get it,” yet again.

Around 14, I was eventually able to lick the inside of my foreskin which was more empowering and exciting than anything I’ve experienced in my life since. But that party trick has long since faded, though my interest and obsession with watching men pleasure themselves orally, has only grown along with the internet’s platforms for sharing such beauty.

The attraction of watching (for me anyway) is the raw and carnal nature of how these men achieve pleasure. There’s virtually nobody who gets to be pretty and comfortable when they’re sucking their own dick, and the strain and sensory overload provide a fertile ground for unrehearsed, unrestrained grunts, groans, and cries. I’ve watched men strain themselves to tears, almost sobbing, as their own cum pours out the sides of their mouth, their perineums throbbing and pulsating out of control.

The exposure in the positions required for autofellation is total; these men have nothing to hide and are sharing their most extreme pleasure juxtaposed with their most extreme vulnerability. It is the ultimate ouroboros of masculinity: the stimulation of the phallus and the reception of the seed. These men are their own penetrators. And it’s just as epic as it sounds.

These are three of my favorite videos (for different reasons) and if you aren’t hard already, prepare yourself:

 

3 Amazing Autofellatio Videos

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I say things like “that guy is a hero” and call this type of thing “magical” and “special” quite often here, and it’s because I think those things are true. I think men who share these parts of themselves that we’re told by society and religion and our parents to keep quiet and outright deny for our entire lives – they are heroes. And not just because they provide visual stimulation so that other men (and women) can stimulate themselves. Not just because they share the beauty of their penises and their bodies with the entire goddamned world, when the world tells them that it’s dirty or unacceptable. But also because they normalize behavior that man has done since man has existed, but we’ve insisted on pretending doesn’t exist in the upper echelons of society. That pretending does permanent and identifiable psychological damage to men all across the planet.

If young people can see celebratory sexual interaction and masturbation, can see a joyful sharing of sexuality and a positive response to that sharing, then maybe there’s a chance we can change the negativity and shame associated with something as natural as eating or sleeping. And men won’t have to grow up hiding their bodies, or lying about their pleasure. If that guy who’s the president right now had learned at a young age how to spread his legs, grab his penis, and smile while he masturbated, things would be real different right now.

 

That’s my penis rant for this week. You should definitely continue your bate with these autofellatio-focused tumblrs: Self-Sucking Men, Self-Suck City.

 

Header credit (he’s also the middle video, with the needlessly blurred face) to the incomparable Blackey Madison, whose sexual sharing is some of the best one can find. He is authentic, generous, and eternally on the brink of orgasm.

 

-t