A spermy smash cut of all the best stroking and load sharing. 

I have not managed to find a lot of time to put posts together lately, so we’re ending up with some Monday Masturbator posts turning up almost back to back! Mea Culpa! I’ll try to get some more filler in there this week, but I promise the distractions are just. I’m not simply sitting around playing with my foreskin instead of sharing stuff with you guys.

Not that anyone has yet complained about two back to back bator articles. Ah well.

Today’s post comes to us by way of one of my favorite tumblrs for penising: Wischsen den Schwanz (“Masturbate the Penis,” or more colloquially, “wank the tail”). They do a great job of showcasing the exact sort of video so many of my buddies and I prefer: solo guys who aren’t here to look pretty or get cast in porn. They just wanna show you how it looks when they cum hard.

This video is an edited down version of the William Higgins-directed classic These Bases are Loaded. While the full version of the film includes sucking, fucking, and all the highly-tanned, handlebar mustachioed action you can tolerate, this 4 minute smash cut features the best part of the movie, far as I’m concerned: The after-game locker room jack off.

I hesitate to call it a circle jerk, because it really does seem as though the action is more isolated, or relegated to small groups of two or three, instead of a great big group of penis play. That’s likely a symptom of the practicalities of filming sex for movies like this; it’s impossible to predict, light, angle, and capture every money shot if everybody is just in a big pile. And these money shots are worth seeing.

I’ve genuinely never seen guys cum as much as these dudes do in this jack off scene and some of their loads are just mind boggling. This guy came for such a long time, that I couldn’t even make a single gif out of it! I had to do a side-by-side of his endless sperming:

Epic, right?

As usual, I’m easily distracted during porn, and some of the background reactions here are worth paying attention to. Watch this guy on the right’s dumbfounded (especially in the video) reaction to his associate’s sperm blast:

That’s super sweet! I love it.

Porn like this is so classic that it even features a reasonably well detailed IMDB page. They missed the composer for this and lots of same-era productions, though, and so I’d like to direct your attention to this thoughtful Reddit post about his work. Costello Presley (an Elvis fan, one way or another) scored more than two dozen films like this, writing and performing original music for classics like (my personal favorite) The Pizza Boy: He Delivers. You can hear his work at the top and bottom of the clip, in the imaginatively titled theme song, These Bases Are Loaded. I’ll leave it up to you to spot the similarities to the Arrested Development classic Balls in the Air.

These Bases Are Loaded: All the Best Loads

It’s interesting to compare the direction and performances here with modern studio-produced porn. I love how Higgins spends so much time and film on the faces and body language of the performers over the arc of their orgasms. There’s plenty of penis-only shots, and enough sperm to drown in, but the reactions to the feels are the best part of this art work.

-t