It’s a tale as old as time: one word that follows the rules of English, and one that people insist on using anyway.
As someone who writes a lot and often, one of the more frustrating things to come across when you’re trying to communciate effectively is the ol’ “either is acceptable,” turn in the rulebooks. Sometimes that’s not a big deal, as with putting a period after the abbreviation for mister (FWIW, I am a big believer in using punctuation correctly to convey meaning. Mr. gets a period to clearly denote an abbreviation. The same as with “et cetera” becoming “etc.”). Other times, it is an annoyance that borders on criminal lunacy.
Such is the case with the mysterious origin of the slang term “bator.”
We talk a lot about masturbation and bate practices here, and have great cause to frequently say the word “bator” and “bate,” and I am cautious to use the correct spellings of each word, as they are clearly and logically derived from larger terms:
But there are those among us who insist on using the unholy “bater” (or worse still, “batter,” which is rather obviously the term for someone who bats, not someone who bates) to mean the same thing, but arriving that spelling by way of adding “r” to the verb “bate” to mean “one who bates.”
bate + r = bater
Which… is fine. I guess. If there weren’t a clearer noun, derived from the noun “masturbator,” already in play. What earthly sense could there be in translating a verb, “masturbate,” into a noun “bater,” when that noun already exists, and is spelled “masturbator?”
masturbator – mastur = bator
The answer is, none. It makes no sense. People who say “bater” are simply doing so without thinking about how it is derived (much the same way people infer that “regardless” requires an additional negating prefix and slap “irregardless” together, feeling confident that sounds right).
Now, folks who say “baiter” should have their masturbation privileges revoked alltogether for as long as it takes to erase this completely from their personal lexicon. Unless you are describing someone who professionally chums waters for sexy shark diving, or puts worms on fishing hooks, “baiter” is 100% never the word you’re seeking.
If you’re looking for the spelling of a term to describe an individual who masturbates or identifies as a solosexual, the correct usage is “bator,” as derived from the term “masturBATOR.”
“Bater” is a misusage that has found its way into common parlance but is technically less correct than “bator.”
But you don’t have to take my word for it: