Stu and Pavel are super hot and super disconnected.
Without question, my most popular tumblr post in the lifetime of that account, is a simple photograph of two dudes holding hands while they masturbate:
I don’t know who these guys are, or what the context for this image is. But somehow it says all the things, at one time. I get more comments and more messages about men lamenting the loss of such a friendship, or moaning about the fact that they’ve never had it. They all point to this photo and they say “I want that.” For all of the hardcore, bareback, fuck-me-in-the-ass porn that exists in all the mansex world, it seems that what men want (without realizing that they want it) is to be connected. Connected to another human; another man. And through that connection, to be connected to the greater energy of the universe (I know how hippy dippy that sounds. Bear with me).
It’s a simpler thing to see from outside, this desire for connection, and I probably notice it because I spend a lot of my time writing about it and helping to foster it through my work. But it can be hard to spot in one’s own list of driving forces. And that’s before we even dive into the multi-billion dollar pornography industry that creates endless, sharable content neglecting or denying the concept of connection entirely.
If one is fixated on lots and lots of porn, dissecting the idea of ‘connection’ would be like asking a Taco Bell employee about the nutritional breakdown of Nachos Bel Grande. They don’t care about that. You’re just supposed to put it in you.
I stumbled across a beautiful GIFset on tumblr the other day, and immediately tweeted it out, admiring the visible fraternity I was witnessing here. Somebody more dedicated than I ID’d it as a Sean Cody Production, so I went about borrowing a friend’s account for what I expected would be a fun, penisy evening of watching these men find heightened pleasure in the pleasure of their brother.
What I got was something else, completely. It wasn’t bad, per se. But it was obvious that – even though I managed to cum – I’d have some thoughts about this that lingered beyond the 22mins of this scene.
And I do:
Stu and Pavel are empirically handsome and muscled and hairy in all the right ways and places. They’re the ideal Sean Cody men. But that’s where they diverge. Stu is a capable bottom and he seems to get into it well enough to make it enjoyable to watch. But that dude is checked-the fuck-OUT. On multiple viewings of this video, I found almost a dozen examples of Pavel desperately searching for some kind of click with his scene partner, only to have Stu ignore him entirely, or briefly check in and then physically move his face away to break it.
I made a short clip of the first four minutes or so of this video, and highlighted the points where Pavel seems to be going “hey bro?” and Stu shuts him down or ignores it completely:
At some point, Pavel sort of realizes that he’s not going to get what he’s driving for from this guy, and fixates on Stu’s boner. He doesn’t even look at him after this, until it’s time for the penetration. And the penetration starts like 5 fucking minutes into the scene. Which should be a good indicator of the chemistry Stu’s capable of dipping into. But, it’s fun to watch Pavel suck a dick, because he’s clearly the sort of boy who revels in having a penis in his mouth and seems to be rather adept at manipulating it, orally.
What you should notice in that video is that Pavel is doing everything in his toolkit to get this guy to really pay attention to him. He’s physical, he’s vocal, and at one point around 1:29, he even grabs Stu’s face to try and physically redirect him (one of my personal favorite tactics for dealing with the Stus of the world). But Stu isn’t having it. He’s focused on his dry, high school handjob and doesn’t seem to notice or care that Pavel is trying to make this a way better session.
What you should take away from this is the idea that real connection takes practical effort. You need to be present, and you need to see the person that you’re with. Look into their eyes. Force them to look at you, if you have to. Outside of the high theatre of pornography, what you’re sharing with that other man is intensely personal and very often private. Something about which they may have all sorts of conflicted feelings: shame, guilt, fear, sadness, elation. You can’t do anything about their feelings, but you can be open and receptive and those are the keys to connected sexual interaction. You can be excited and you can let their expressions of pleasure enhance your own. It’s vulnerable and thrilling and singular to show someone how it looks when you masturbate, and it can be exponentially more so when they enthusiastically receive and mirror it.
That’s literally all that happens at Bateworld. Men who share their masturbation in attempt to connect with and heighten the masturbation and pleasure of their brothers. Nothing more sinister or “dirty” or profound.
What Stu misses is a chance to share his body in a way that is related to his animating force. What he offers instead, is an unlubed cock tug, and a hairy butt in which to nutt. Thats fine, I guess.
It’s the difference between eating a real, filling, and enjoyable meal, and sucking down that sloppy Nachos Bel Grande. You might feel full. But hardly satisfied.
This blog has ZERO affiliate relationships, so I don’t earn any money for talking about porn. But I’m a big believer in supporting the performers and creators in adult entertainment. If you want to watch the full scene, or any of the hundreds of quality scenes Sean Cody has created, click here and give them a few bucks.
Tyler Dårlig Ulv (@tylerthebadwolf)
Finally watched this scene in full, and it turned out to be a stunning example of how NOT to treat your brother: https://t.co/CmfG9HMcZB
They both looked like they were getting exactly what they wanted to me. I almost jizzed in my pants just watching these 4 minutes. Gotta check out the entire scene later tonight 🙂
I don’t think they both got exactly what they wanted. The one sucking obviously LOVES giving oral, as do I, but he wanted so much more from the other guy. Even if that mean just being acknowledged. That was a very one sided scene. I didn’t even pay much attention to the guy getting serviced as he seemed pretty much not into it. Just IMO. Thanks for the post @tylerthebadwolf
At the end of the day, there’s no telling what these guys get out of what they’re doing here. Only they know. But I think there’s some basic stuff to observe in their behavior and lessons to apply to your own masturbation. To your own interactions.
Open up. Care for your brothers. Masturbation isn’t a precursor to intercourse by necessity. It can be its own incredible beast.
Hey, who am I to judge. Go get it! SC could use the bucks! ?
Thanks for reading!
Thanks for another really good piece of writing and observation of our sexual behaviour. I agree – interaction and connection are vital for a fully satisfying sexual experience – both in person and in porn. As much as I love porn and almost daily masturbate to a wide range of porn, it becomes more and more obvious that there is no connection between the majority of the performers in the big production house offerings. This is why I seem to get more bate pleasure out of watching amateurs.
In my experience, there is often more connection and sexual interaction between guys masturbating then between guys having a suck and a fuck. The sexual energy and enjoyment also seem more intense in a group than between just two guys. Certainly, a group bate seems to raise levels of connection and sexual interaction that I find so satisfying. Also, I find the sharing of my penising with other guys more intimate and erotic than just a suck and an ass to nut in.
Once again thanks for this Tyler.
Boy. You have no idea how satisfying it is to know that ideas you put out are landing so successfully. I love that you read this blog, because it really feels like you GET what I’m saying. It’s not about doing things ‘right’ or one behavior or interaction being superior. Some of the feedback I get is just “why do you think this is better than the thing I like? You’re wrong!”
PLEASE stick around! ?
wish i was good with power tools
You definitely should do more posts like this where you analyze the scenes and edit the video to add your thoughts and show us what you’re talking about. EXTREMELY VALUABLE in my opinion.
Well that’s very kind of you to say. Thank you.
I don’t watch a ton of mainstream porn, so Idk if that’s gonna happen. This was kind of a fluke because I was expecting something else.
But, duly noted. And thank you for reading.
Tyler Dårlig Ulv (@tylerthebadwolf)
A lot of interesting feedback in the comments on this post. I would REALLY like to know what you think. Tell me? https://t.co/CmfG9HuBB1
wish i was good with power tools
@Scott, it IS technically possible that both of them were incredibly satisfied. But those of us on the outside can still benefit from what we see in their interaction and placing that somewhere on our own spectrum of satisfaction and wondering if can be improved or not for ourselves.
Also, it’s totally possible to not be conscious that it can be better than it is. A super simplistic example would be, immediately after a person’s first sexual experience, one wouldn’t have anything to compare it to (except perhaps for what they’ve seen in media, porn, etc. which is a whole other story on the importance of what’s in the content out there and what we consume and learn from). But as that person gains and build up quality experiences, their minimum baseline could shift, be increased, and then a current experience at the same quality level of their first experience would no longer be in the same place on their spectrum in relation to their baseline.
Two different people in a sexual experience together could also have different baseline levels relative to each other, adding another level of complexity for communication, mutual satisfaction, etc.
When we see very clearly what ANOTHER person not involved in the actual interaction (Tyler) is thinking (and compared with just written text, the video edit makes this much easier to do), that can also be EXTREMELY HELPFUL. It doesn’t even matter what the sexualities are. This is the type of education we should have at least been exposed to before becoming sexually active. It would have improved quality of life so much.
Tyler Dårlig Ulv (@tylerthebadwolf)
This is on track to be one of the most read posts. I’m fascinated with y’all’s willingness to dissect this with me: https://t.co/CmfG9HMcZB
1. Do you see me?
2. Do you care that I’m here?
3. Am I enough for you, or do you need me to be better in some way?
4. Can I tell that I’m special to you by the way that you look at me?